i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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