She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
