Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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