My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
