Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
They are going to name an STD after you.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
