my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
