a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize