I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize