i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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