Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No subtext here. People are naked.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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