You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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