I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
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Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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