I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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