he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E