And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.