God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.