I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.