I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.