ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you