I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up