I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can I color on your dick again?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.