Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
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Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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