office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
