You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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