meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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