P.S. I can't hear my feet
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
