theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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