She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
