he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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