We're like a lot better than the average bears
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
