I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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