I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
