HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
