just come out here and I will go home with you...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
