I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
