lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Houston, we have a squirter
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
