I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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