Can Purell be used as lube?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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