i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
pray to the hookup gods
Help me help you realize you are a moron
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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