he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
