I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
