Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Did we literally take a cab across the street
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
