Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
