I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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