party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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