Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
