so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
