Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
