all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
