Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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