Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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