He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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