I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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