i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
