At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
