Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Everclear isn't food dammit
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
