my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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