is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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