I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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