i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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