i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
