Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
