Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
