I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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